Why can’t he just Travel?

Ladies who have walked down the aisle and are now permanently tied to one of those extremely annoying male species by marriage would agree with me that nothing compares to the joy of having one’s better half announce that he’d be going away for maybe a family occasion or official duties that’d require him to stay out of the house for days(s), month(s), year(s)? The joy such announcement brings calls for celebration that at times you just want to throw a party and....

Dance like there's no tomorrow.

I mean, I understand the whole story of being used to one’s spouse’s presence so much that one just can’t imagine leaving without them and every other soapy, sentimental phrases *roll eyes* suggesting how one is overwhelmed with love and how life would be meaningless without the other person bla bla bla….

*Insert a huge yawn here*

I am referring to those days when you excitedly look forward to that announcement from your spouse that he’d be travelling which can last for at least for some days, weeks (hopefully? Can’t a girl dream?) that would enable one regain back the near- sanity that was sacrificed on that altar that innocent fateful Saturday when you happily signed off your space, freedom, those precious me-time and some peace. 

Oh, it was a ring I collected? Thought it was handcuffs.

Sighs!

It wasn't then a surprise when one day at work, a colleague of mine, while on a call with her Hubby was making some sad sounds, expressing disappointment and was even near tears(damn, that girl's acting skills was good) as she pleaded with him not to leave her for any minute and how life would be meaningless without him but apparently from the way the conversation ended and the almost tear-filled eyes and voice she had going on during the near end of the call, it was obvious her Hubby was still travelling.

Omo mehn, to our utmost surprise, the minute the call ended, my colleague literally leaped up in joy while gushing effusively and bouncing down the stairs, chatting away happily on how she would have the bed to herself finally for some weeks and how she would have peace and tranquillity with no one wanting to eat efo riro and semo at 9:00pm and no one would wake her at night by saying he needs some good loving or hoarding the duvet to himself  or even poking at her with God knows  what in the middle of the night.( At that point and to avoid stories that touches the heart, I had to use style to check the number that called her as she was listing too many traits Hubby exhibits at night)

To avoid stories that touch the heart.

As my other married colleague and I looked on,we couldn't resist glaring enviously at the freedom she just acquired so when my phone rang and my domestically challenged husband for the umpteenth time that day asked what he would have for dinner and what he could take to work the next day and whether I could close early to make the special sauce he likes with fried potatoes, I knew this guy needs to travel very soon and in my mind I just couldn't help but wail silently, “Shey you, you won’t travel abi?”

Sighs! I mean, why can’t he just travel?

Don’t get me wrong though. I am married to a man who still excites me after many years of marriage, fineee, after one year of marriage, an extremely witty spouse with the heart of a child who just wants to be happy and who has my mumu button and who I miss so much when he is not around. But mehn, there are days , Lord have mercy, there are just some days that I want to put him on a plane and just have the pilot fly around for days without stopping anywhere until network comes back to the pilot's phone and I can call him to bring him back since the kids are all grown and living away from home and I'm lonely again.

Who knows where the fairy god-mother lives?

See ehn, Hubby is not exactly someone that disturbs or cramps my space but when he sees me, his independent ego gets knocked over by an axe that's being held by his dependent alter ego and an over-pampered child holds nothing compared to him as he'd even give Harry Porter's very pampered cousin a good run for his money. When I am around, Hubby can be likened to someone that got his fantasy  gift toy for the first time after being told the toy can withstand any form of pressure or fall and all he has to do is just command it. 

And I suspect he wakes every day and thinks deeply while looking at my sleeping self, “what task can I ask for and how far can I go with my requests?”.

He probably had this kind of thoughts which was why Hubby tried to assign a task to me at about few minutes to 11:00pm as I was about to jump into bed after a typical hectic day at work, while he was in the living room watching the match between Brazil & Germany.. 

He didn't give up as Hubby can be very persistent when he wants to send me on an errand that he thinks the 42 tubers of yam has covered. But at that time, I was too asleep to let him use the usual big eyes emotions to make me feel guilty.

 The guy has definitely got to travel. He deserves a vacation.