Ehn ehn, what’s wrong with Big-Manism?

So for the past few days, I have been seeing the same ol' regular hypocritical comments and faces all over social media regarding the picture above and how Nigeria is a useless country with useless and lazy leaders  and  bla bla bla bla….they went on and on.

You know in Naija, we can flog and hammer on an issue like witches and wizards or until someone uses their palms to decorate our “Inspector Karounwi” faces.

Now, I am fully aware I have written on big-man-ism before and it’s better  I mention it now because I know some monitoring spirits will go and consult their oracles via my blog to drag out the harmless write-up and be quick to mention that I am a hypocrite and other funny names we don’t stand in front of the mirror to call ourselves.

As I was saying jare, I have written on big-man-ism in the past on my blog and I came in from the angle of theft in politics and corruption and big men lauding their ill-gotten success and wealth over others.

But what I never harangued upon was the problem with being fawned upon if I am important and I have some cash to burn.

You see, in this our country, we invented hypocrisy and we like to show how knowledgeable we can be about certain topics or issues and since the advent of social media, the classes of society have and can now be merged as anyone can now add myself, Obama, Clinton, Hugh Jackman, Tiwa Savage, Don Jazzy, Wiz-kid, Paddy, Mike Adenuga and Dangote on Twitter, Facebook and Linkedin. 

Yes o, I am important too for those that don't know. Forbes has just not published the page where my name appears to be.

And when people add important people like myself included, people begin to check out our luxurious lives and personal stuff and somehow, some of their village people working on their destiny have been able to convince them that they know us deeply and personally.

If you like kill yourself, I am also as important as Dangote. If no one will blow my trumpet, I will jare.

Anyway, as I was saying, in Naija here, the average citizen is angry. And I am not talking about soft anger o. I am referring to deep seething anger, resentful anger, anger at everyone doing better than us, even if there is no proof that the person embezzled money or is into any shady deals. In short, for Naija, it is a sin for any other individual apart from us to be prospering more than us.(See my last blogpost on that one here) 

"Hian! How dare they! What do they have! What have they done! Are they mad! Who are their ancestors that they should be richer than us", thinks the mind of an angry envious person!

That mentality is now made worse since phones and internet service became cheap and available to every creation of the earth. Oh boy, now that people can view myself and every other wealthy person on-line and see how well we are doing, people's anger no longer has part 2 and many of them would not have passed the Hulk test as they will just become green once they are put to that test.

Which is why you would see an extremely lazy man with 3 housemaids, 4 personal assistants, two body guards look at that picture above and curse GEJ. 

And my question is ehn ehn, what is wrong with that picture? What is wrong with big-man-ism?

How many of these men wash the dishes in their house themselves?How many of these women can boast of not having at least a maid in the house after marriage? Forget all those nonsense stories of “I was born hardworking and I want to cater for my husband myself”. That is just a broke-a**e woman with trust issues talking.

No one can put a tag on comfortability. If many of us can afford it, we would not lift a finger. What am I even saying, many of us would not even use a neuron or a synapse in our brain for any thought if we could afford it. Let’s wake up and stop pretending and keep the hypocritical faces in our rooms.

This is Naija, a home of ego centricity, a place where men and women are not equal, either at the work place or in marriage, a place where a woman’s success is tied to whether she’s married or single and the number of kids she has given birth to, a place where we send younger people to get us stuff and not go ourselves just because in Africa, we lay emphasis on seniority. 

Big-man-ism exists in every area of our lives in Nigeria as many of the critics on social media seem to be having selective amnesia about this. But to help some of ye screaming lot gain some part of your memories back, I will be asking some questions and you can be providing the answers. At least, in the confinement of your phone, you don’t have to lie to yourself now, abi?

1)      How many of you grew up with maids? (For those that could not afford it, this question is not directed at you)

2)      How maHHow many of us have parents that had drivers, gate-man, wash-man, gardener at some point while we were growing up? (This is also not directed at people that couldn't afford it.)

3)      How many How many of us send our younger ones to the kitchen, market, salon, a friend’s house to pick up something, not because we have broken legs but because we grew up in homes that emphasized on the importance of respecting an elder sibling? (If you are an only child, kindly skip this question)

4)      How manyHow many of us send out office assistants to buy us one thing or the other once we get to the office? (Unemployed citizens need not answer this qweshion)

5)      How manHow How many people, especially the men, wash their cars themselves? (Legedeze men need not apply)

6)      How manHow many people, when greeted by a younger one in public who struggles to carry our bags or loads when we come back from a destination, blatantly refuse? (stingy people need not comment)

7)      How manHow mHHow many people go to the market to shop for lots of stuff and carry their bags single-handedly to the car one after the other? (Online shoppers such as myself shouldn't bother to comment. Your case is worse)

8)      How many HHow How many people have actually bent down to pick up something that fell from our hands without looking around to see which younger person is around to pick it up?(Pregnant women need not answer. We totally understand!)

9)      And HAnd the very last and most important, how many of all ye critics would allow your rich parent/husband/wife/sibling to carry any load that is heavier than a 1000 naira bill without screaming like a banshee to your maid/gateman/driver in a loud voice, “Will you come hia and collect this load fast and stop strolling like a layabout, come on, carry that load, idiat!”

Sounds familiar, huh? I thought as much!

Don’t get it twisted people, this is Nigeria,  not obodo oyibo, not America. What is acceptable in America isn't accepted here, like homosexuality, remember? And what is accepted here isn't accepted in America, like polygamy.

And ironically, though we want our own Bayelsa warrior, father of many, a whole leader from an oyel producing state, husband to our very own Dame Patience, a whole GCFR, to carry his bag himself because Obama and one other leader I cannot even recognise did that, yet our own Tiwa Savage decided to emulate Rihanna & Beyonce’s video style and we brought out our thunderous hypocritical mouths and ears and faces like that Charles Novia that produces unoriginal & unrealistic  movies to say she is unoriginal and a copycat and this is not America.

I have a question for you lot condemning GEJ in the picture above. Is this America? Is GEJ Obama? Are you from USA? If you love that country that much, why are you not over dia washing toilets & taking care of old people?

Let’s get our s**ts acts together and stop acting with double standards, choosing to accept or reject westernisation at a convenient time and situation when it suits our confused minds.

This is Africa! This is Naija, the ego centric country of show, since the beginning of time that is older than Schnapps. 

Stop the silly comparison! Enough of picking up random pictures from the internet and doing Pic Story to compare. Oil, Water & Milk cannot mix. None is better as they have different but essential uses.

Here in this country, big men DO NOT and CANNOT carry their bags themselves. Our forefather taught us better than that! Except you want them to turn in their graves! Abeg Free Jona o. He is already dealing with being tagged as a failed president across the world. Abeg, let's not add this one that we are not even practising in our homes to the issue at hand.

This angry writer is out of here.

Insanity Check- How Nuts Are You?

“Many are mad but few are roaming the streets” – an unknown wise man

One day, Aremu, a worker in a popular mental institution in Lagos was given the task of transferring some mental patients from another popular mental institution to the institution he earns his daily manna.

As soon as they got to the road, the bus he was driving had a break down and Aremu came down to check the engine and confirm what could have happened. As soon as he opened his side of the door, all other doors automatically unlocked. Fabiyi, the supposed leader of the mentally uncertified pack curiously opened the door on his side which yielded to his hands and happily, all mental patients jumped down from the bus and ran in a zig-zag manner while tearing off their clothes and running haphazardly until Aremu lost sight of them.

With fear and trepidation on what this would and could cause to his career with the institution not to mention the police case it could lead to, Aremu came up with a plan.

As soon as Aremu got to Oshodi major bus-stop, he came down from the unbranded bus he was driving and immediately started screaming at the top of his lungs “Abuja 500 naira, Abuja 500 naira, enter with your change o, no change o". 

In the twinkling of an eye, he got more than he bargained for as his bus was filled to the last seat with some people still struggling to squash in.

With glee, Aremu drove straight to his mental institution company to deliver the set of mentally disturbed patients he had picked from Oshodi on that fateful day.

Suffice to say that it took all passengers/patients up to 7 days to convince all the important leaders of the institution they were not crazy even though none could justifiably explain why & how they believed they could get an Abuja bus in Oshodi for 500 naira.

Now, this scenario is mild compared to different traits many of us exhibit that will put our sanity into question. However, worry no more as there are ways to measure your level of sanity. I have mapped out some situational scenarios below and your reaction or ability to relate to each scene will let you know whether you are a potential candidate or whether you are even way overdue for admission.

The One-Way Waheed & Perfectly Lined Laide: Now, I am aware that at some point during our driving experiences in Lagos, we may have been directed by either LASTMA or other Road Policemen to pass through a one-way route during a bad traffic day or when a major accident had occurred.  This is expected during these times and quite understandable to go through a road meant for the other car users that are coming from the other side. However, on a regular day that is considered normal, it leaves room for sanity credibility for people that see cars perfectly lined and going on one direction and choose to pull out of this line to face the incoming traffic due to impatience or because the car in front “is just too slow”. I mean, people like this should be placed under a lengthy on-going observation that may span several weeks to confirm how their senses are interpreting situational issues. It takes a lot of sanity gut to face a coming car, I tell you. And such people, they need immense evaluation.

The Fly-over Flouting Falade:  For this set of people, you’d have to agree that it takes a lot of mental gut to see a working over-head bridge for pedestrian use but still decide to cross major express roads because the bridge is just “too damn long”. Some pedestrians even get upset when cars do not slow down to enable them cross the busy roads and you hear curses like “kilon wan a gan”, “Kilon le lere”meaning What is he driving sef, where is he speeding to?, “Jo koshi lo ko gbe pangolo e danu sibikan” meaning "Just get out of here and take your useless car away". All insults are intended for the innocent drivers and many pedestrians inNigeria have a sense of entitlement and you hear them even say unnecessary things like “I am a citizen of this country and no one will treat me anyhow.” Shuo, on top of using the flyover bridge? Hian!  Does that not put such offender’s mentality into question? I am even of the opinion that it is about time government introduce all these mobile buses that should be stationed strategically right under each flyover bridge so that as soon as they are able to pick mental offenders crossing such busy road instead of using the bridges directly above them, they can simply usher them gently into the mobile buses to begin various evaluation and depending on the responses they are able to give/receive, I’d even suggest they should be taken to the nearest institution for further investigation until they are able to explain sensibly why they would cross a busy road and not just take the bridge. Some insanity power tussle here if you ask me!

The Urinating Usein: Ooook, seriously this is just a true test of sanity. It takes a whole new level of mental disturbance to see a sign that boldly says “Do not urinate here” and it is at the point in time that your bladder decides to do acrobatic moves that will propel you to make use of that same spot. And in Nigeria, most of these writings have been scratched off as some of these rules flouters even go as far as erasing the notice or simply pasting an ad billboard or paper over it. It’s even no longer news to have that same spot being used for public use with some road urchins charging some mental candidates a small sum to use the exact spot to relieve themselves. Offenders should be mentally evaluated and checked for possible signs of schizophrenia.

Window Winder Wasiu: I remember the first year after the government mandated all vehicle users to ensure they have baskets to throw stuff into their car rather than winding down and throwing stuff out of the car. Oh boy! See protests. Vehicle users did not find this funny for one bit as they believed it was their entitlement to throw trash right into the road and yet, they would be the first to complain about the dirtiness on Lagos roads. Many only got to know the government was not joking when road offenders caught doing this are told to sweep a major road in Lagos for one day or simply asked to frog jump by military men. Now, in as much as it was a norm we were used to, it really does not put us in the sanity light when you see a very clean road, as in extremely clean o, wind down the window of your car confidently and throw a gala wrapper or an empty pure water sachet into a very neat road. Who deserves a private room in Aro if not such offender, pray do tell.

The Blocking Balogun: Your daughter is getting married or you want to “yi oku mama pada” (which means re-celebrate their mum's burial because they have too much cash and since there are no incoming parties, they decide to celebrate someone that had died 20-25 years ago) or even because their son finally did his freedom after 10 years with the master and they decided to block a major street in the neighbourhood as a result of such celebration. No one, I mean no one one deserves a special place in the heart of a mental institution such as people who indulge in this sort of evil for being under the illusion that the street was founded by their ancestors and as a result, every one of us either sit our a**es down in our homes for the duration of their party or we find other roads to use. Luckily, many of the older generations with this kind of mentality are either dead or have moved back to their ancestral villages.

The Tattooed Talabi: You moved to a foreign country when you were a child, spent the major parts of your life there and became exposed to the Gothic freestyle sense of living and as a way of showing your hip hop lifestyle and open mindedness, you tattooed every part of your body and pierced every area of your body that was piercable or that the blade could reach. 

You came back home to Africa finally to work and after few years of watching your friends get married and start a family, you lament on the uselessness of Nigerian men and how they don’t take women serious and you keep wondering where all the God-fearing men are. My sister, with all the tattoos that seem to be more than all the percentage of water in your body, do you see yourself as useful or does your body seem to be a temple for God-fearing men to worship. If you were a man, would you marry yourself? I think not! In fact, for believing in the total impossibility of getting something fresh and holy while you seem like an over decorated Christmas tree, I’d recommend a thorough psychological evaluation(all the works!) to confirm you are not yet schizophrenic and delusional; seeing and expecting things that do not and will not exist.

The Punching Priye: I think there is really nothing to say here. It takes someone of immense psychological imbalance to marry someone that was already punching you way before marriage but somehow convinced your alter ego that the rings on your fingers will change the person into a non-violent person. That level of insanity cannot be rivalled in any mental institution which is why it is recommended that any lover exhibiting such trait or who has been flogged more than an adulterous woman in the northern part of Nigerian by her spouse, should be reported to the nearest institution for a continuous and lengthy investigation to correct such mental anomaly.

The Absent Abija: You happen to be a very social person in school and have attended and coordinated lots of social events. You missed all of the classes taken that semester and never attended any lecture nor did any continuous assessment. In fact, no one knows you in the academic board. The only proof you happen to be recognised as a student is your Matric number. You are neither the son of the Registrar nor related in any way to the Vice Chancellor of the school you attend. Final exams schedule came and you were able to get a textbook to read a day before exams. However, despite all these signs that failure is knocking, you still somehow give prayer request in churches/mosques & hope by a stroke of luck and “divine mercy” that you will pass and still express disappointment when results finally arrive and you were advised to withdraw. Is this not the first sign of a loose knot? Is this not a warning sign to personally check into an institution to evaluate how safe you are to be roaming the streets of Nigeria and being a danger to people like us? The earlier you begin that mental evaluation my dear, the better.

The Prayerful Pamela: You have not for any minute in your prayerful life searched for a job nor attended any exams or interviews as you spend almost every day in church telling God what you want, without backing up with actions or evangelising everywhere possible that they let you. But despite your church activities filled life taking ALL your time, you are somehow praying for divine prosperity and hoping someone who you have never met before will call you one day to come and resume as Managing Director of a company as you are the saviour their company has been looking for. What level of Meth could you possibly have smoked or how bad are the spacey air-headedness nowadays? And how soon do you think the slowly unscrewing knot in your head will give way fully? If at this age, you still believe in Magic, just be sure the weed you are taking is of high quality and the staff of Aro will be interested in meeting with you.

What other ways of recognising insanity have I left out? Look at the person beside you and think back to recently exhibited neurological defects you have witnessed them indulge in.

Or better still, who are the guilty that seems to be doing the same thing over and over again but expecting different results? Identify yourself to enable us recommend you for a comprehensive mental analysis and the best treatment for your delusions.

The Unbearable Awards 2014

I used to be one of those people that condemned narcissism and all it stood for.

I mean come on! Narcissists do not and cannot live with humans. They deserve to be excommunicated and left to live in the woods. They have no right to…….....and my endless rants used to go on and on so passionately about the need for the government to eradicate these set of people.

I should however let you know that during my anti-narcissism days, I never for one moment knew what the word meant or stood for. The fact that it ended with –ism, made me conclude that it certainly belonged to the class of all the evil –ism theories we have in the world and the evil being done to the people in the society by these -isms.

I was so naively retarded back then. And thinking about it right now, I was just like a wounded illiterate jungle girl.

I only got to wake from my retarded mode few years back when I finally used Google to understand that narcissism is actually not a danger to the human species but rather about people that blow their trumpets by themselves at all times through showing off or effusive praises of themselves and their accomplishment.

But it’s still bad joor as God has emphasized on the need for us to be humble and at all times (Yup, I am coming in from the religious angle as that’s all I have). Such people also seriously deserve to have their own award plaques based on these traits.

I have compiled a list of the top award nominees and the award categories they belong. Seriously, I have! Just see below. They are that annoying!

The Neanderthals “I Want to Stay/Remain with Pocahontas” : We all know at least that one archaic- thinking, time warped person that has refused to upgrade from his/her screen damaged, worn keypads, battery swollen 2001 phone to a smart phone and has doggedly refused to move up the network ladder and migrate to the data bundle/blackberry bundle family. Usually, such people are thrilled to tell you “I am definitely not interested in being a slave to technology so anyone that wants to see me should call me or visit me at home”. Hey, I'm a big subscriber to using whatever you believe may suit you but usually these people are just out to prove a point that they can be different from the pack. And most often than not, people like this have inflated egos and believe everyone requesting them to come towards the internet light is not enjoying their technology heightened lives without them since they get requests like “come on blackberry na”, “why don't you add your office email to your phones na”, “try and download WhatsApp so we can chat better” and other requests from people that just want to be able to communicate effectively and get swifter responses at the same frequency. But do these Ibadan/Aba mentality people listen? No! It takes a while for their royal majesties to get convinced to join the new world and when they gladly finally do, they are quick to post “Based on popular request, I have finally bought a BB/IPhone/Tab, kindly add me.

Once people like that come on-board the addictive internet side, they end up constituting a heavy nuisance and become so annoying that they are either blocked or worse still, someone reports them as Spam to Mark Zuckerberg who then instructs his Engineers that they should be permanently deleted…(Hehehehe)

The “All Animals are Equal but some are Way More Equal than Others” Pretentious Doormats Colleague:  You must know that colleague/friend/enemy that was born to belong in this category. At some point in our innocent leading lives, we have met some colleague (who happens to be on the same level o and even same payroll but acts like a boss to you especially around other bosses) that chats non-stop on an idea they want you to relate to the big boss and which needs to be birthed as they will also claim you are the one that seem to be good at relating strategic ideas to people. They force persuade you to send a mail to the big boss explaining all you both just discussed while having them in copy. With the praise of you being the better strategic message bearer of ideas (oponu), you excitedly compose a very lengthy mail at 10:00am the next morning to the boss detailing your requests, processes, intentions, what is expected and what you hope to achieve. And finally after like 20 strategic sentences that would make Martin Luther King proud, you signed off by asking the colleague in question to concur with this idea since he brought it up and you click “send” to the boss while copying the doro-devil.  After about some nail biting 18 hours, 34 mins and 20 seconds of worrying and pondering on whether your mail didn’t get to deliver to any of them, you decide to do a follow up mail the next morning requesting for a response to the previous mail sent and the doro-evil colleague after 120 mins, responds with “Ok, let’s schedule a meeting to discuss this better. I’m kind of busy now”. With the boss in copy……..

What you seem not to be aware had transpired is that your career is about to either be recycled to a more doro-demanding one. You see, this colleague from hell has just created an impression of how busy he is and how slothful you seem to be to have had the time to send a 10 sentenced detailed mail during work hours. We both know who won’t be getting any raise soon and who would be considered for leadership position in the near future.

Move over Brutus & Gaius, oh ye betrayers of Caesar! This Colleague just made it into the nominees for the betrayal awards.

The Emails “Internet Explorer” Snail/Tortoise Persona Non-Grata:  We all have people that have flagrantly refused to upgrade to the swift Google Chrome mentality. I am talking about those friends/colleagues that respond to funny emails sent to some group clique few days back, where everyone had enjoyed the joke the same day it was sent and moved on to the next best thing and forgotten about the scenario. Completely!

After like what seems a whole century later, and you are facing some serious moments at work which could be during some words-Spartan rage from your boss, you get a mail notification from this person and all you see is “Lmaoo, this is so hilarious. Wherever did you get this? Insanely funny”. 

For a brief second, you will consider whether you just had a concussion as you are very certain nothing funny or remotely close to happiness had happened within your earthly space in the last 24 hours. But then you see the mail trail and you remember the joke you shared days before the cold war with your mail clique. Now, the millipede-tortoise-snail friend/colleague all rolled into one just decided to laugh. I am routing for the Darwin awards for this one though!

The Narcissist “My Life is much better than yours so Worship me while being depressed” Brags: We all know them. At least, we all have more than 10 of such people around us. It could be on any of the social media platforms or they are people you actually know physically, not to mention some can even be relatives. Now these people share like-minds with Sociopaths, however unconscious they seem to be about this. You see, a Sociopath lacks empathy and total disregard for other people’s feelings so that is where the similarity comes to play. These brags usually are the ones that let you get this updates on your news feed “Keisha/Bobby added 150 pictures to his IOS mobile uploads. Anabel is now engaged. Anabel added 256 pictures to the album titled "Happiness Begins. Bryan uploaded 180 images to the album "My new ride”.  Once you click to check out how one person was able to upload 150/300/250/180 photos when it’s not a physical wedding album, you get to see what’s new with the ever gloating, fake life, low esteemed, “everybody must love me” brags and all their escapades, you discover that the first 120 pictures you run through are usually one and the same, well except for the different smiles and hands that are being showed. Every other variant remains constant; the new car, the engagement ring, the dresses, the timber boots, the angle they are being shown, the location, the stance and not forgetting the very glaring need to showcase how well they are doing in their lives and the number of gifts they got on their birthday and the luxurious gadgets they have in their living rooms. 

These people hover around the tethering threshold of nuisance constitution and thrive only with the knowledge that they are seen as successful, no matter how the success came. (urggggggh I can’t even puke). Maybe they will win?

The Eagle-Eyed Competitor & the “I hope you are not doing as well as I am” syndrome: Now, people that fall under this category deserve to be recruited into the investigation department of any security agency. When you meet such people, they are never the ones answering the questions. They are the ones asking the questions. You may get questions like “So what are you doing now?”, “Are you still using the same car I saw last month”? “Are you seeing anyone now?”, “Where are you working now”? “Have you started any certificate courses?” These questions keep them up to date about your life. They NEED to know what progress you have made as you are the yardstick they use to measure how well they are doing. And that measurement had better reveal they are doing way better than you! They usually do not keep in touch though.

Oh no, they don't care if you disappear off the planet of the earth. In fact, they may never have called you before, chatted with you, updated their statuses or given you an inkling of how their lives are going. You may never hear from them in many months to come. But when they arrive back in to your life, they come with a bang.

And when I say bang, I mean it in its literal form. The minute they appear in your life, they “radiate” wealth, happiness, joy, success, euphoria and the only difference between them and a star is that the star is far away so it does not bling as much as they bling whenever you run into them. They are always shining as they cannot afford to look any less when they “run” into you. They need you to know they are doing better.

What you may never know is that the competitor has been keeping a tab on your life; aware of your daily activities; every milestone, every achievement, every new certification courses, who you dated and are dating, every new piece of diamond, lands purchased, loans taken, compensation benefits the company is giving you, your medical insurance, hair extensions you've bought and how expensive, whether the watches you wear are actually pure leather, cities you have visited, your last updates across the social platforms. The “gbeborun” competitor is stalking you for one reason and one reason alone: They need to know how successful you have become so they can be a step higher.

This is why when you obtain an MSC, a competitor obtains an MBA with an Executive Diploma on top sef. When you finally move into that dream 2-bedroom apartment in 1004, the competitor rents a 4 bedroom apartment in Foreshore Towers, somewhere close to your office so they can run into you and rub it in daily.

When you change jobs to work in a consulting firm, the competitor gets a better paying job in Shell. The competitor is in a race with you that you are not aware of and they do this by keeping you in the radar, nothing close to bring overt familiarity though, but enough to know and learn of every move you make. After few months of “silence”, they may chat with you stylishly on a photo you were tagged in with you standing behind a Hyundai 2010 car in a well gated compound. They will then ask jokingly "is that your new car? Whose house is this?" And innocently you will respond by thanking God for the progress you have made so far.

Oh boy, you just challenged the ostrich competitor o and they have accepted the challenge.

You may never hear from them again for the next couple of months. But when next they manage to find a way to "run into you" at a later time, they have acquired the Hyundai 2013 model and now live in Lekki Phase 1 in a 6 bedroom serviced duplex which they will manage to infuse casually into the conversation.

Hey yaa, poor doro-you! And you don't even know you are being watched o, with your Hyundai 2010 model. Sorry o!

I have a list of people that can/will win all awards in each category with no close nominee. How about you? Have you met anyone or do you have any other unbearable awards that need to be shared?

Pray do tell.

Bandwagon Syndrome-The Zombies Must Go!

For the benefit of this aggressive lengthy post, it will be worthy to mention that I am a curious non-conformist and as you read further, you will begin to understand why it was necessary I warn alert you about this trait.

I regularly find myself checking out some myopic and shallow comments on different social media platforms when someone “dares” to ask a question(s) that threatens the very belief/existence/norm of some other person(s). The responses to such questions can actually cause some damage to anyone that is neither strong to deal with non-constructive criticisms nor well enlightened enough to know how to respond with further questions that will grate on many nerves especially the delirious religious and political bigots.

Growing up with a sister that usually ask over 1000 questions within an hour despite my expression warning her to leave me alone, reinforced my decision to work on my tolerance side when asked both sensible and senseless difficult questions since I am an advocate of curiosity. There was a day she actually asked me up to 10 questions within a minute and I am not exaggerating when I mention that I was near tears. Up till now, when I receive her pings on my bb, “anyone looking at me will notice that my face will change, I will just frown”.

“Big sis, which hair is that?”, “Is that a new shirt?, Are you coming home today?, Will you be attending?… How can I use….? Can you buy this new material for me, “Can you buy me a new fan?” Can you take me out this weekend, Are you at home? Is there light? Can I come and visit you?, How do you log on to…. How do you check… Is it possible to…. How come this other site…. How soon can I… Do you think…. Is it true that…..?”

I should mention that these questions come after one another. The birth and response to one question gives birth to subsequent multiple ones as far as she is concerned. And with her, it matters not if you look furious or ready to violently shout on her. Once she wants information, she will be a pest until you answer at least 999 out of the 1800 questions she has in her mind. So any time I receive her blackberry pings, I ensure I am in the right frame of mood and mind to respond before opening it as she monitors to see the “R” that shows one has opened and read the chat. Once she receives confirmation that you have read thereby confirming you are alive to recognise her chats, ghen ghen, her gbeborun questions will now be retyped one after the other all over again. I have considered blocking her severally, but that will make her come over to ask me face to face. That I certainly do not want!

However annoying she was back then with her truckload of questions, this habit has made her more knowledgeable, given her a very sharp and thoughtful mind and made her quite conversant with topical issues.

This is one of the major reasons I find it surprising that people from this part of the world get upset when someone out of the blues asks questions totally different from the supposedly trending ones that will shed more light on a particular belief or issues trending at that point in time.

Don’t get me wrong, I know there are some questions that make you want to question whether some people were born with brain cells or they were stolen surgically just like the bad guys in “Fringe” did to Walter Bishop. Hey, for what it's worth, I am also guilty of this as I also ask Jagaban some senseless questions that once they emanate from my oral cavity, I simply know I just became a top winner nominee for the Darwin awards and I usually see from the expressions on his face his silent determination not to terminate review my contract right there and then. But I guess I still have my nuisance value despite all the stupid neurons deducting questions I have asked him in the course of my career, hence my current employment status.

But what I have learnt at a very young age is this; Better to be curious and ask and then BE sure than to assume and follow the lazy, non-curious band wagon like a zombie and be WRONG or worse still, come out sounding and looking like a waste of educational space.

Suffice to say, there is no harm in being curious.

When we are curious, we challenge pre-conceived notions as to why we do some things the way we do, like questioning why Donald Sterling was banned despite the conversation being a private one and if his rights to privacy and freedom are not actually being violated. It's questioning why we react a certain way-like when nobody bothered to ask for the exact number of the Chibok girls that are missing and why the numbers are fluctuating at every news release and why we don’t have all their pictures yet as at week 3 and why the World Economic Forum is still holding and a protest is not going on that the program should be cancelled until the girls are found rather than carrying placards with no pictures, no names and no further info like how come the BH leader, Shekau has a bomb truck and how such huge equipment made its way to Sambisa forest in the first place. I think one of my favourite things about human species intelligent people is that we're (yes, I belong here o) constantly trying to figure ourselves out and the world we live in and all its conspiracy theories.

You see, apart from having a fore knowledge, I believe the world is now so enlightened and educated that we should make it mandatory to always question old norms and standard practices and even ask about who made them standard in the first place. Religion, Education, Politics and News that is quick to travel fast from no known specific reliable source all fall under this category. 

This is why I find it depressing when a brave curious  person comes out to challenge a public position holder, a religious leader, an important news correspondent based on an information revealed and you see comments like “The Lord said touch not my anointing”, “Don’t question what you don’t know as you don't know who will set you up”, “If you want to live long, you will do well and not go down that part”, and other myopic advice that are lacking of depth and only showing the commenter(s) as shallow zombies who are scared to go out of the band wagon community and channel other people down another thinking path that may open new doors to overdue answers. 

Situations like this leave no doubt any more on why slavery actually lasted this long on this part of the world. And I have my own opinion of what we as Nigerians do not like to hear because it makes us question every false thing we have held dear for a long time.

1)       We have not learnt from history because we believe that things are and will “get better” and God will help us if we just pray and do nothing to help ourselves.

2)     We believe that just because we I lack the capacity for evil, others lack it too so we act like everyone is you are righteous.

3)     We are stupid killing each other through tribalism and religion diversity because we don’t even know where the enemy lives can’t kill the enemy.

4)     Bigotry religion is the white man’s most effective weapon. (The day we realize this is the beginning of the solution to our problems which is why I see absolutely nothing wrong with the sanctioning of religion by DSTV on all their channels. About time that area of our belief is kept in our hearts and personal businesses as the people that wear their religion all around them like leprosy are the greatest hypocrites)

5)     We are still waiting to be told how to fix “our nameless yet numerous problems that we created ourselves” because we are too passive and too scared to challenge what we have been jazzed brainwashed into believing is the “norm” and too foolish complacent to figure it out ourselves.

Curiosity is the quest for new ideas and information. People who are curious aren't satisfied with what they we already know or have figured out. They go after what they don’t know or can’t understand—just as Kema Chikwe, myself and others wondered out aloud & publicly why we don’t have a name and picture to any of the missing girls at at week 3, and that missing information can become a driving need to find out more and even challenge the corrupt people to take a step to correct some already damaged measures.

I am not sure about any other person but I consider myself too enlightened, too exposed(opelope Facebook, Twiteer, Linkedin, Quora, Bellanaija, LindaIkeji, New York Times, CNN, Aljazeera ), too educated(expensive schools for that matter o), too intelligent, too widely read(I started reading Harvard Business Review religiously and Wall Street Times almost 5 years ago), too culturally diverse to be ruled by long standing norms and beliefs that portrays me as tribalistic or a religious extremist/bigot that does not aggressively challenge question any information just because the people before me didn't so I shouldn't or because I am scared of criticisms.

Iyalaya criticism.

I am of the belief that it is hypocritical for us at this age and time to take everything on social media or because it was revealed by Reuben Abati journalists without asking questions. Relating this to the missing Chibok girls, it was funny seeing everyone carrying placards and quick to share tweets and links screaming murder to “BringBackOurGirls".

Abeg, which girls? 

Do we have an idea what the number 200, 236, 243, 270 273 means? Faceless & nameless girls whose identities were not released and wouldn't have been released since no one was even bothering to ask why none of the crying mothers was carrying any picture of the missing child until Kema Chikwe asked the brilliant questions “How are we sure they were kidnapped? Who saw them get kidnapped and where are their pictures and what are their names? Why aren't journalists conducting live interviews with the ones that escaped so as to give insight into what happened, how they escaped, etc?”

Whatever happened to investigative journalism? Did it die alongside Dele Giwa?

Don’t get me wrong. I do not doubt the fact that they were kidnapped. Far from it, I simply doubt that some terrorists waltzed into a school and took time to arrange 273 girls into different buses and drove off just like that. Are they corned beef or kerosene mangoes?

Do I smell some political conspiracy somewhere? Why is the government accepting help from the USA after 3 weeks when many of the girls might already be suffering from Stockholm Syndrome? Why is the Dame coming out to cry publicly after 3 weeks of no response until we started asking for names, pictures and live interviews? Was there no internet or newspaper in Aso-rock on the first day it happened?

Who is fooling who?

Trust some foolish Nigerians! They were quick to attack and condemn and snarl at the insensitive comments of those of us that questioned the stories making waves because it threatened every zombie story many have been persuaded to believe.

Talk about the power of social media! it's like watching the life potency of Ayelala jazz.

Meanwhile, it should be worthy of note that all the names only became listed after this public challenge (one wonders why despite many intelligence bureau committee existing and eating deep into our yearly budget meant to think and provide answers on stuff like this, we had to be the ones to demand for more info) and even so, Muslim names are yet to be released since it was CAN that released the 80% names of the girls that are Christians (still wondering how CAN got hold of such list).

So many conspiracy theories unanswered questions.

Intelligence is fixed at birth. Some people are creative enough to question the norm, others aren't. Some are curious despite public condemnations, others were just born to blend into the wall and walk around like zombies and follow where the noise is the loudest.

As for me, let’s just say I am just too enlightened to take anything at face and first value especially where politics is concerned as I am just a curious non-conformist.

However, let it be known that though not welcome, all ill-thought emotional opinions lacking objectivity and non-constructive criticisms do not and will not stick.