Tale of Two Thieves- A Greedy Investor & the Fraudulent Business Man.

It takes a whole level of highly motivated greed & invested quest for selfish wealth to attempt to reap more than what one had never sewn.

I have always boasted to anyone that cares to listen that it would take an exceptional alakori genius to defraud me of anything whatsoever, even something as small as a pen cover. If you however believe that I am blowing my trumpet about being too smart for fraudulent activities, then you are right.(maybe because I am married to a Barrister. Hehehehe)

You see, outside that reason, I am an extremely stingy meticulous and detailed person where any business transaction that money would exchange hands or any financial activity is concerned. And when It comes to parting with any sum of money whatsoever, no matter how small, omo, I can investigate and sniff around so much that even Sherlock Holmes would be like;

"Is it because of this small change you are investigating like this?"

So as a result of this meticulousness, there are some few traits of mine I think you should all know so you will understand my stance:

 I can haggle over price of foodstuff for Africa to the barest minimum. My mum taught me well and following her to the market while growing was an unforgotten experience as seeing my mum price meat of 3000 naira to 700 naira has given me the toughness to haggle shamelessly with no fear of being thrown out of any market. It became so bad that any time I entered the market around my area, those market women usually adorn an unwelcome frown until I pass their stall or to prevent me from pricing evilly, they quickly let me know before I descend on them with my haggling strategy, "Aunty, eran ti won gan o" or "ko si isu loja mo o aunty so iyoku towa won gan o"(meaning meat is now costly and the remaining yams in the market are very costly). That one does not stop me o. A market woman once asked whether I wanted to be “ota aje” which means enemy of wealth. What makes it funny is that those words don’t upset me. I will sha price well.

       I also find it extremely emotional parting away with old stuff so there is a possibility that if you have once visited my house, you would have seen some “panti” (worthless dirts old stuff) either under the staircase, on the lower bottom of the drawers, in the guest room or even among my make-up purse. I just have this attachment to keep on to something I spent my money on some time back no matter how far back. My mum had a name for me "Mo ma lo owo mi tan lara nkan, o man so eyan di idakuda nii" (which means "trying to use all your money out of something you bought makes you a nonsense person. And this was after she saw a lipstick I bought in my 100 level while clearing out my room in 400 level) Another example is an eye shadow I purchased in 2008 before graduating from my university. Omo, I still have it o but I have given my sister sha. looool

    I like to acquire stuff a lot, which is why I ensure I go to the mall with a list and budget of what I really want need, otherwise Hubby hears something like this whenever I come back from the mall, “Sweety, I saw one lovely bag and shirt at the Galleria that were so fine so I bought these shoes, this make up kit and this wristwatch". (I can be hazardously extravagant and haphazardly irrational where shopping is concerned)

     I like collecting evidences receipts, even if it’s to buy Moin-Moin and Boli from Iya Ruka across the street(Ok, that's a lie.). But I like to know the root of whatever I am buying, where they planted the plantain and where the Moin Moin wraps were made and who plucked the coconut I am buying from its tree. I research a lot about anything I intend to do and anywhere I intend to spend more than 5000 naira. If the information does not populate positive news into 3 pages or more on Google, Bing or Devil Finder, Bella Naija, Linda Ikeji, Stella Dimokokus, mehn I ain’t interested.

    As a rule, I never do business with outright strangers. I deal only with referrals whose root I know and whose referrals came from people whose integrity I can vouch for deeply. I may not be rich o but every shilling & kobo million(fineeee, another lie) I have was sweated for and I no dey take am joke at all. 

    And when I am promised more than what I am actually contributing, It turns my radar permanently off. I don’t want to be promised a spitting dragon or a unicorn while I am asked to bring just a key holder or the case of an old Trium phone. Mba! I am a staunch advocate of the phrase, “a bird in hand is worth fifty thousand in the bush”.

So having said this, why would anyone now think for all the blood diamonds in Sierra Leone Venezuela, I can be defrauded simply by jazzing and lying encouraging me to part with mere 5 naira so I can get 5000 naira in return? 

As how na?

I have never even bought shares from the stock market with my own money before! (apart from the ones my mum got for all her kids when shares still had value in the late 80's/90's) Why would I want to part away with any amount of cash immediately for a promissory note sometime in the far away future?

The answer is simple: I must have shown the person either behaviourally or by my body language that I am greedy, which is what many defrauded people are guilty of possessing.

Greed! 

The bane of our society, the reason Africa is still what It is today, the affliction of many youths and gullible adults, the need to acquire more than what we have legitimately worked for and the elder brother to the phrase, “what’s in it for me".

The duped victim always feel smart from the onset while adorning an arrogant disdain towards the person making the promises and would have calculated that parting away with 1million naira to get 5million naira is worth it. But what the ode unintelligent duped victim does not realise is that 1 million naira to the fraudulent person is a huge sum of money. So contrary to the dummy thoughts of the not so smart person that was defrauded, they end up being the victim.

Don’t get me wrong though. I am well aware that some people legitimately want to do business and think they are liaising with legitimate consultants but this is where investigation and research would have helped out. The world has gone too digital and Technology savvy for research to be undermined where new business interest is concerned.

However, the truth is people who are defrauded are usually afflicted of pure greed and probably with possibility of generating into full time theft if put in an official autonomy of huge finances. Because there is no way in hell heaven someone that has worked legitimately would agree to part with a huge sum of money that have been sweated for many hours in labour to acquire double or triple of some invisible cash just because a smooth talking, clean shaven bastard person made promises to double it within a short period of time.

Hian, aka gum like me? Ko joor on all levels.  

I have had several friends who had ashamedly fallen victims of dubious/ shady fraudulent businesses despite their very many & impressive certificates; both foreign and local ones o, and who then vow to bring the fraudulent person(s) to book while laying all curses known to man to the smart fraudsters . And I ask them, “Abeg, wetin dem promise you and wetin you drop in return”?

I think at at that point, they allow their brains to start functioning again as they usually have no convincing responses to that question because at the end of the day, they usually realise that maybe they are not as smart as their certificates proclaimed them to be and maybe it is time for them to return all received diplomas and degrees earlier acquired.

But as for Inspector aka gum like me, I still strongly maintain and opine that any one that was/is a victim of either on-line or physical fraudsters deserves to be jailed alongside these fraudsters.

#nuffsaid