Did You Really Give Her An Orgasm?

Long Read Alert: This post was stemmed from a recent discussion with two female acquaintances who admitted they had never experienced orgasm pre and post marriage. Up to 7 sexually experienced women’s opinion were sought to complete this article. 

2 out of 5 women would have faked an orgasm at some point with a current or past lover at least once. 

Awwn don’t look too shocked. See it like infidelity, many hate it but has that stopped it? 

The rise of orgasm pretense amongst women has increased due to certain expectations set by society on what a woman is expected to give in a relationship- absolutely everything she was born and nurtured with. You see posts that celebrate men more than women- coaches, pastors, Imams, parents coaching the females on how to “keep” a man and their home and things to do to "hold" a man's interest. You rarely see posts that tell men how to keep a woman and when you do, you have men quick to remind women on the scarcity of men and the need to better “behave o” and stop seeking qualities only Jesus have.

Until recent years, most relationship books and advice basically focused more on women pleasing men. Even pornography materials created sexual scenes where a man’s orgasm was usually more celebrated than a woman’s. In some X-rated movies, the show will continue until the man reaches that point of pleasure and rarely do you see a female X-rated star having an orgasm. 

Another reason given for female sexual inhibition is that pornography and even romantic materials have given a false impression that a woman must have an orgasm at the same time a man is having one to further increase the pleasure and satisfaction. All these expectations set forth the reason many women fake orgasm to seem “normal” with their lover and also make him feel good about being able to please his women. 

Below are some reasons women have been faking orgasm for centuries.

She Has Been Conditioned to Believe Happy Endings Must Exist:

From the pornography materials where both the man and woman explodes from an earth shattering orgasm to the damaging novels that build an unrealistic sexual fantasy where the heroine gets to have an orgasm just from being kissed by the tall dark and handsome hero, women have been conditioned to believe every sexual experience must end with the woman exploding into body rolling orgasms. This accounts for low esteem in women who don’t get to experience both single and multiple orgasms with their partners. And so as not to seem “abnormal” to their lover, they will rather fake the experience to help their partner feel good.  Also, when there is a man on top of you who is three seconds away from shuddering into ecstasy, it would feel weird coupled with bruising his ego, to just lay there with a blank face, like you are reading a copy of Genevieve Magazine pasted on the ceiling. This results in the woman pretending to be having one. 

She Is Tired And Just Wants It To Be Over: 

While a lot of men can go hours grinding non-stop, women are known to lose interest after a set amount of time has lapsed, especially if she already knows she won’t be getting any big O from the lover on top.  Once she’s sure nothing is going to happen down there for her, all she wants is for this to be over. Once she reaches that decision to just take charge of the time and prevent you from helping her grow mosses below, guess who will be screaming alongside you (even louder to further hurry your a**e up) just to get you to roll off? Yeah, you guessed right. Like a lady recently shared on Facebook, once her clock is ten minutes past the time of sex initiation, and she’s still screaming like a banshee and dramatically, she is definitely faking it. She even admitted that her theatrics acts commences after 8 minutes. 

She Genuinely Likes You and Does Not Want to Turn You Off: 

Your woman understands you probably have a higher sex drive and ultimately wants to please you. She may be having a headache or low on cash or just generally in a bad mood but when it comes to your satisfaction, she is likely not going to want to disappoint.  That doesn’t mean she wants to spend longer time than necessary in bed with you, hence she may need to fake the big O so she can get back to nurturing those headaches or thinking up ways to save more money for the future. 

  

You Are a Newbie on the Block: 

If the relationship is new and you seem to meet all the checklist of a woman to get her to sleep with you, pleasuring you will be paramount and no use acting all weird and not having an orgasm with the new hottie she’s found. Except she is sexually inexperienced, the chances of a sexually experienced woman faking an orgasm with a new lover who she may have built a high sexual fantasy before the real deal, ranks higher especially if he meets up in other areas. She will simply hope that with time, he will get better. 

She’s Experienced in Faking Orgasm:

Women tend to be harder on themselves where orgasm is concerned. Women that have never experienced orgasm believe something is wrong with them.  As a result, they won’t want to draw attention to themselves and may resort in masturbation to relieve themselves while faking it with the lover. If a woman has been faking orgasms with past lovers, she won’t stop with you. Sometimes, it becomes psychological that during lovemaking, she stops concentrating on having an orgasm but rather on when exactly to release the incoming fake orgasm. 

IDENTIFYING A FAKE ORGASM  

              

Being able to identify when a woman has faked orgasm is actually quite easier than many men think and the signs below should guide you towards ensuring  she gets to the peak.

She Refuses to Make Out With You Very Often: If you spend 80% of your time convincing your woman to sleep with you, chances are high that you don't satisfy her much when you eventually do. Think about it this way, can you convince someone to come and enjoy something so good? Women who don't get satisfied at the end of the show will try and avoid having it as much as they can because they are just not in the mood to fake the big O.   

She Had No Contractions: When a woman is experiencing the big O, it’s expected that her inner muscles will contract sporadically and uncontrollably until the feeling lapses. This is when her inner pelvic muscles grips the man from within, intensifying the pleasure for the man. While some women may now be skilled in contracting muscles, an orgasmic contraction comes very frequent and isn’t too precise or timely. It takes a special set of skills to contract the inner muscles sporadically to fake an orgasm.

She Seems to Be Putting on a Show:  Real orgasms aren’t the sexiest nor when the woman should look composed. A woman in the throes of ecstasy has the most unusual expression and contortions on her face, making the most awkward sounds and panting loudly like an animal on heat. Not a cute moment so if she still looks so adorable and her face and actions seems very measured and composed while having an orgasm at the same time, it’s probably a very well-rehearsed orgasm that will put any top paid actress to shame. 

She Always Has an Orgasm at the Same Time You Did: While the romantic books and movies have convinced us that mutual orgasm is as common as air, this is a rare occurrence between couples in the real world. This can occur once or twice in sexually active couples who may over time master the art of having an orgasm together. However, if your woman has her orgasms exactly at the same time you have yours consistently for the many times you have made out, she is faking an orgasm to please you and get you to round off fast. 

She's Silent Afterwards: A sexually happy woman is like a Cheshire cat, beaming with smiles afterwards with a very shiny glow. If she isn’t shining and isn’t smiling nor looking at you like the best thing since peanut butter, she definitely didn’t have an orgasm. 

She Wasn't in a Right Frame of Mind: While a man’s orgasm can be purely physical, simply needing a release, a woman’s orgasm is tied to her emotional state of mind. A woman is unlikely to have an orgasm when she isn’t happy before engaging in sex. So if she’s climbing the bed with you despite being ill or unhappy, considering her state of mind at the moment you decide to make out, she will most likely not be having the big O that night.  Unlike men that can still think about sex during recession, once a woman’s emotions is in turmoil, her sexual drive turns off completely. That’s why we are always confused when you are still horny despite a very busy day. Won fi shey yin nii?

She Tells You to Try New Things: Okay, this is awkward.  So you may have been bumping and grinding with your woman for a while and you believe you know exactly the buttons to press to get her to sing joyfully. You are even sure exactly when to thrust deep to get her to have that earth shattering orgasm you now know too well. But one day, as you are about to attempt that position she loves so much and make your way down south, she starts issuing precise directions that contradicts all your expertise on making her sexually happy. Say Whaaaaat? Sir, this most likely means that she’s fed up with pretending it’s all good when it’s not. She has decided she wants a real orgasm this time and she’s determined to get it, even if it means putting you through like a retarded person. This is not the time for your ego to come all out and protest. Simply take orders. At least for you, there’s nothing like bad sex. Lucky you!

You Asked the Most Irritating Question Known to Women: If you had to ask her “Did/Have you come?” during the bump and grind or very well after getting back your voice and breath from the earth shattering orgasm YOU just had, then she definitely didn’t. When a woman has had an orgasm, you won’t need to ask. You will know. 

The Way out…..

Women too quit relationships when the sex is bad or simply turn off completely from sex sessions that have refused to improve. And the more experienced she is, the higher the unlikelihood of having interest in nurturing a novice in bed. All these are not reasons to get upset and huff and puff. Understand that at some point, a high percentage of sexually experienced women have faked an orgasm and will fake one. And the longer you last in bed, the higher the chances of having partners that will at some point fake it with you to get you off. The best way to help a woman reach the big O is to ask questions. Don’t assume you know a woman’s body. Women get bored too and not just the men. We are just more conscious of our body counts. Your booty slaps may have worked last week and the ear sucking treatment you gave her as foreplay (whadahell is that sir?) may have curled her toes three years ago, but her mood right now will determine what she wants and how she wants it so you have to ask. Let her lead you to her G-spot.

A lot of men assume being big down there is enough to send a woman into automated orgasm. Lol. Having a big D is NOT enough. It’s like having a sophisticated toolbox but totally inexperienced in manual activities. It’s useless either way. Be in tune with her. Ask questions and seek directions. You won’t die if you open your mouth to ask questions. Follow her touches. Wherever she touches you, imitate the moves. Women tend to touch their partners exactly the way they will like to be touched.

Treat her like you will treat your iPhone or Range Rover Sport 2018 model when newly bought and less like your 14 years old “I better pass my neighbor generator” and the rewards will be higher for you.