Writer's Block it is....

I’ve always heard the term, “Writer’s block” but i never thought it could happen to a genius like me.(Yup, deal with it, I’m a genius!!). I was under the impression some of us possessing so much intelligence cannot experience such.



I was wrong.


Not writing or posting on this blog for over a week is not a deliberate tact 2 keep u panting for more, Trust me.


I was blank.


I AM still blank.


And probably will for the next couple of days.(That’s right, my blankness is a lazy choice, no be jazz!)


Suddenly, it hit me.


I’ve grown so arrogant of my writing skills I’ve just stopped practicing. I grew accustomed to hearing people say,” u should consider writing as a profession. You will make it big”. I’ve heard it so much I just discovered recently I practically float on air when walking.






Yup, my pride and arrogance has grown wings. I stopped practising or even writing anything.


Not even a letter. That’s why i find it lazy sending even messages. Gosh, it’s so much work. It encompasses me thinking so much of what to type. You should see the messages we exchange amidst ourselves. Usually, it doesn’t exceed 2 words like, “u home” or, “where u” or “I’m downstairs”. And even when it exceed 3 words, the punctuation mark makes it 3. And if you ask any Telecommunication staff, after the first few months of getting used to having so much airtime, sending a message becomes a task we consider demeaning. Yeah, we grow them conceited in the telecoms world.


Then it hit me again. I’ve been stuck in time. I’ve been hanging on the cliff of the oldies.


Some hrs back, a friend sent me an application to work for a reputable bank. I was meant to take my test online. (Yeah, I’m that special)


It’s alright, don’t be jealous. I flunked it. They’ve collected their job test and interview. Hey, it wasn’t my fault. It was that crazy test that had something numerical n logical bla bla bla.


For 6 full minutes, i stared blankly at my computer screen showing some logical reasoning balder dash test and was wondering what I was supposed to be looking out for. Are the black dots supposed to be moving or should I make it move? And what did they mean about what the ratio of crude oil should be as against the kerosene? How am i supposed to know? The angles all looked the same if u ask me. And do they care to explain what the jargons on this pie chart should represent? But wait a min, come to think of it. How in the Jews name does that help in bringing money into the bank or dealing with top clients, duh!. They just don’t know what to do with so much space on the page so decided to fill it with impossibly unreasonable questions I’m ready to bet my armed robber’s salary on that not even Soludo coulda answered. I could picture the one who set the exam watch me choose 20 wrong answers and smile to himself while he arrogantly click on No. (That’s me for you. There’s just something exciting bout pouring all your woes on an unsuspecting victim)






But on a more serious note, not writing is not because i don’t wanna write but there are too many topics to write on. Should i write on Love? Relationship? Marriage? Sex? Money? Who is the better lover, the guy or girl? Political situation in Nigeria? Gender discriminations? Or other topics that have been over flogged.


I was chatting online with an old school mate’s brother some weeks back whose writing skills inspired me to add him as a friend. We were on the usual camaraderie angle and he came up with a suggestion that we both choose a topic to write on but from our personal gender’s point of view. We were both enthusiastic about it. We explored themes and titles. We considered making it into big ideas and probably selling. It was a major feat. We had visions and dreams of the article being widely read.


Meanwhile, I warned him that while necessity is the mother of invention, Tejumade Omoyosola Oyeyemi Oyedeji invented procrastination.


He laughed heartily. He says i’ve got a huge sense of humor. He says my man is lucky that i know how to make every one laugh. He was happy to have me as a friend. He made me promise to come up with different ideas and point of views to the story. It was really a great moment to share. We parted with words of promise to come up with lots of points and ideas.


3 weeks and some days now, i can’t even think of what our topic of discussion was in the first place. Hey, i warned him but apparently, my looks worked for me. Again.


Ok, back to the main gist, anyone reading this particular blog will discover i’m doing it again. And it’s working. Again


Might i point out that from the beginning of this story, i’ve diversified, branched out, viewed from various perspectives, spoken, talked, written, what i’m trying to say is i’ve not stuck to one subject matter. I’ve touched a lil of this and that. That’s what the likes of me, Linda Akeji, Chika, Wole Soyinka, Toni Kan, Betty Irabor, Chinua Achebe, Fela Durotoye and the likes of us do (yeah, start dealing with it, i belong to this category). Even if we don’t have what to write, we have a way of making you take some time out to read our beautiful nonsense. That’s what makes us Literary giants( I can imagine Titi’s expression at this stage).


Ok guys, i tried to save the good and bad news for last. So which one do u wanna hear? The good or bad? Ok, let me say the good. May i say here that yours truly is still as witty and pretty as eva and representing all you peeps!! Yeah yeah, you don’t have to scream it that you don’t care.. I suspected as much..


Ok, the bad news is that if you remember, from the inception of this my dazzling article, my subject matter was my blankness. Well, duh, i still am. If you didn’t figure it out from the second or third paragraph, then that makes you one of many that fell and is still falling for my witty charms and comebacks. And if you are still reading after that statement, then maybe it’s time i open my fan page. Make it a date 2 be ma first fan! Might i say here i wrote all this under 10 mins? I know. I’m that good.






Yeah, no need chasing me with pure water and moin moin wrapper, i’m out already.






P.S: If you take time out to read this part where i apologise for my non-conforming use of punctuation marks, then take it from me. You are this close to stalking me. Then, i’d be needing me a bodyguard.


ANNNNNNNNNNNNND CUT..............................