Hubby believes Exes should not necessarily be deleted out of one’s life just because a relationship did not work out. He believes in keeping in touch with them all, no matter the level of hurt experienced in the relationship.
Hian! Keep in touch fire!
Me? I am an ardent believer of throwing the baby out with the bath water o, especially if that baby hurt me wella. That is to say, if you hurt me or somehow toy with my heart and still expect me to be on friendly terms with you, you are really sitting on a very long dangerous thing. Suffice to say, I do not have any ex’s contact on my phone. Hubby thinks I need Jesus and the spirit of forgiveness coupled with divine intervention in my life.
Story!
I am aware many people (especially guys) will think I am overreacting but ah, temi yemi o. (I understand my own) People do not seem to understand the hold an ex has over one. I will rather leave Hubby in the room with Kim Kardashian than with an ex that the relationship did not end because they both discovered they are related by blood.
Ko jo mehn!
Time has shown that Okafor’s law will always come to play at the least expected moment. And I discovered that many ladies (except me sha because I do not keep contact with Exes as a rule) has fallen back into Okafor’s dungeon at some point in time, not because they were not smart enough but because they did not give to Caesar what belonged to Caesar. You do not spend so much time with someone and simply think it will just disappear because you started dating someone else. Feelings do not just walk away because you changed the name of your partner. Where intimacy has been shared, feelings do not just dry up because you changed location.
No be like that my sister!
I once had this admirer who tried to date me after he broke up with his girl of over 7 years!!! 7 years??? Am I insane? I out-rightly told him it was never going to happen. 7 years of shared feelings, mixing all the mixable fluids, met all his friends & family, visited all the joints in Lagos with her and he wants me to date him? Habatically! Need I mention he is married to the babe now? Na me someone wan take do toothpick.
Impossicant!
Nobody doubts the "out with the old, in with the new" story where relationships are concerned. However, the law of Okafor simply states that “once access is granted, regardless of "old or new", that license does not expire”.( of course you don't expect me to say the original version, let's not forget my write ups are rated PG)
It has nothing to do with cheating! It has no grounds for moral arguments! It is neither good nor bad! It just simply means that the apple does not forget how to fall to the ground!
Chikena!
Men generally, like to keep the "door open”. They call it "Just In Case" Law. “Yes, we are officially over but I want to stay "friendly" with you ..."JUST IN CASE" i want a booty call one night or just want some, because the new girl is crazy or not giving me enough and she forced herself on me or she even got pregnant and not that I wanted it” ....You know all those excuses they generally come up with and the ones that some women are extremely foolish to fall for over and over again. When it comes to getting some, the average man becomes the best story teller you will ever meet and they always come across to one as being unhappy in their respective relationships. Always!!!
Have you met any Ex of yours recently who seemed unhappy every time he met you? Is his babe/spouse/woman giving him serious issues? Has she changed since he married her? Did she stop having sex because she is now pregnant? Is she now very ugly & fat since she got pregnant? Has he filed for divorce but waiting for the kids to start walking, or start school, or finish University or is the spouse even dying? Is the spouse choosing her job over him? Is the spouse cheating on him?
Does your Ex call you around evening/midnight to whine and complain about all the above? Oh gial, Okafor’s law is about to work on you and you are about to fall for it like a pack of dominoes.
Your Ex is about to use you to welcome the New Year my dear. No story! Simple & short, you are about to become a booty call for a randy Ex.
At times, when I hear the stories these men come up with, I am usually
more fascinated than upset. Some little part of me at times usually get impressed. Most men that cheat are always not in happy
relationship, haven’t you noticed? Don’t you ever wonder why all their stories
are usually the same; ugly wife, fat spouse,
cheating wife, spouse having an affair with his friend, spouse not pregnant,
spouse cannot cook, spouse cannot dress well, family forced spouse on me,
spouse got pregnant so he had to marry her.
Wetin???? Na only you?
And some mumu babes will hear all these “tragic love stories” and try to console
the guy with their skirts down their legs while moaning and patting him on
his back and glad they were "wonder women" that came to the ultimate rescue.
I came across one who actually told me his wife hated sex so much and anytime he wants to sleep with her, she usually cries and it is really creating chaos as he is so hurt and pained and he tried to come up with the most pathetic situations. This is someone whose four children are like a staircase away from each other, two years interval amongst the four children o. I won't even count the number of times they possibly tried before each conception clicked o. Those kids were immaculate conception abi? Ode somebody!
He was speaking to the wrong girl born and bred in Las-Gidi.
Ladies, you had better wise up & "Close down the candy store”! Shut it down, & do not re-open it!
Most men who had cheated on their spouse/lover/woman sometime in the past did so with an Ex they came in contact with again and thought it would be okay to stay friends with benefits. An extra and free kpekus to have around is not hurting anybody, right?
Wrong!!!
If you are single and unattached, you can choose to distribute all your unborn children
amongst all your booty calls, in which case, feel free to contract AIDS around Lagos.
However, if you are married and still carrying all the weight of your exes booty
around, you are on your own when the s**t hits the roof.
Let me
make it simple.
Have you ever had this toy that you played with for a very
long time and you got tired of suddenly and threw it away somewhere in the
house? When you found this toy many years after, what feeling came up? Disgust?
Or Excitement? Did you play with the toy for some time again before finally
getting tired? During that time of reuniting with the old toy, what happened to
the new toy Daddy gave you for Christmas?
My
thoughts/sentiments exactly!
Many believe they can handle doused feelings and can deal
with an Ex. Many of us actually cannot. You are not supposed to deal with it.
You are supposed to flee from it. My Hubby’s case is even worse as his exes are
all pretty such that, every convo I witness between them is like someone is wringing
out my innermost parts and I just want to aaaaaargh! *takes a deep breath as I look at my wedding ring & feels reassured*
Don’t get me wrong.
I am not insecure nor suffering from
unsure emotions but I have so many male friends and they all seem to have
something in common (nursing some hidden
feelings for an Ex that they ran into again or just feeling guilty because something
happened when he saw his ex the last time in her house and they were home
alone. And they always go back no matter how much they claim guilty conscience)
Come
on!
At times, I marvel at the lay man’s orientation of “fleeing from temptation”. Temptation is,
knowing something is likely to happen but we do not respect the possibility
enough to create a certain distance between one and temptation. When you are in
a relationship and you try to rekindle friendship with an Ex flame, what were
you seriously expecting to happen? Seriously, let's talk about it. What really were you trying to achieve? Or let’s choose to look at it from another
perspective, how would you react if your spouse/woman/man/lover calls you to
inform you an ex of his/hers just got back to town and they will be hanging
out or you simply discover they hook up once in a while? I suspect it will leave a worrisome taste to the mouth.
Some intentions are actually pure and some past relationships definitely
worth maintaining but statistics have shown that when a relationship does not
end well or even when it does and you come across the past subject of your
relationship again, there is a higher chance of towing the line of affection several
times. And it will not matter whether you are in a relationship or not. What
will matter is just the joy of seeing that person once again and reminiscing on
past activities you both shared and THAT my dear, is where the Okafor’s law will come
to play.
For those wondering what Okafor’s Law means, let’s just
simply put it this way: “Once de be,
always de be”.
You are still uncertain? You are on your own!
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