Insufficient Funds: An Inspiration for Creativity.

When you start receiving alerts from your bank informing you to credit your account to avoid being blocked as a result of account dormancy, you start coming up with unbelievable business ideas that will shock the stock market.

Being broke can force you to be hilariously creative to the point of ludicrousness bordering on sheer insanity. Not to mention that you will be at the mercy of comically pathetic people who consider themselves business minded but are actually living caricatures of the decrepit state of our Nigerian Universities that did not take out time to carve out a Course that will focus on breeding business minded people for the betterment of the society in the long run.. 

Once upon a time, when hubby was still searching for a job in the streets of Lagos and could not get a decent job for some months, one of the many contacts he was referred to for assistance(an extremely top personality for that matter) sat across him in his office and came up with a " business suggestion" for hubby, who spent 5 years studying Law (I am not sure he did not carry over o), 1 year in Law school and 1 year serving his Fatherland as a Youth Corper.

JOB CONTACT PERSON: "Why don't you rent a shop and be selling insecticides or you can even be selling some household products. You will go to the market, buy some amount of products, bring it to companies like ours and sell to people like us that do not have time to shop personally at the market. Think about it ehn" 

Imagine! He sat across a whole lawyer of the Federal Republic of Nigeria and came up with such business idea. Hubby said and I quote,

Hubby: At that point, I was thinking and recollecting from our Law book whether there exists a type of Law against comical & unsolicited business ideas and whether I can actually sue this man and make some money out of it.

I am sure at some point, we have all being broke to a point where we actually brought up some ideas to certain people, and when we recollect it now, we would be extremely ashamed.

There is something unique and "spiritual"about being broke that brings out some hidden traits in us all: Ideas & Humility. When you hear a man say, "I don't like flashy cars and really,I am not a fan of late night paroles", Just know nigga is a broke a**!

Or when a man says in a rather non-chalant way that, “abegi, there is no difference between a Datsun and a Maserati or a Bugatti, afterall, "is it not to just get to the venue?" you can guess that this dude will not be buying any luxurious item anytime soon. 

Due to his poverty state of mind, this guy is apparently not aware that there is a big difference between getting to the venue and getting to the venue. 
With regards to the former, he will most definitely get there, all covered in sweat, and with seat belts markings on his white native(That's if he did not take public transport o), which he managed to wash and iron just the night before, and looking like he trekked from Gwagwalada to Lagos, only to get to the venue and not allowed entry as his white native is not in line with the aso ebi of the day and he spends the next 25 mins convincing the security guards that the white native is actually white and not cream colored but has changed colour due to the constant usage and washing for various weddings which aso ebi, he cannot afford. 
For the latter,you get to the venue in an "oye" pumping, V6 engine, 6000 watts stereo blaring, sleek wheels and Roberto Cavalli specs covering the eyes while adorned in a 150,000 white Dansiki. The swiftness & alacrity that the gate will be opened by the guards all the while hailing you and assisting you to navigate the Maserati ride you rode in on and even allow you to park right beside the Bride & Groom's Jeep, will marvel even Usain Bolt .

Like the popular saying: Rich man dey talk, poor man say him get idea.

One thing is certain in Nigeria: Money answereth all things. You are only as good as the clothes you put on, the cars you drive, the phones you use and how often you change them, and the contacts on your phone directory. (Not the likes of Iya Basira, Suraju tailor, Iya Sule oni garri, Mama Nkechi beans woman, or Broda Akin mechanic, Baba Junior landlord)

So ladies and gentlemen, we all have to agree that the greatest calamity that can befall a man is not only to be broke but to be broke and lack creativity and have warped philosophical sayings. You just have to pick one struggle.

For those of us with lots of comical business ideas due to our state of bank accounts, let’s keep coming up with these ideas and one day, someone will love our ideas so much and pitch it to Nollywood to make a movie out of it. (preferably Nkem Owoh or Mr Ibu).

And for those that do not even know the meaning of the word “broke”, *In Tuface's voice* “Ma lo ro pe omo pe iwo nikan loma lowo, ma lo rope no bi gbogbo wey go get this money”

Over & out.

Author's personal meanings of native words used in the above article.

"O" (A coined Nigerian word that has no meaning but has come to stay.)

"Youth Corper" ( A service that every Nigerian born graduate, whether schooled locally or internationally must pass through to be able to secure a job within the country, except you come from a wealthy home and your parents are willing to rub the right hands with currency grease.

"Ehn" (Another meaningless Nigeria word meaning OK?)

"a**"( A bonus word whereby you can fill with any letters of your choice, though the author has suggestions)

"Abegi"( Another Nigerian word that is supposed to be the polite version of "Shut up" or "Your opinion stinks"

"Oye" (Literal meaning is Harmattan but a coined Nigerian slang used to describe the extent of the coldness the air-condition in a car is emanating.)

"Dansiki" ( A native material from the Northern part of Nigeria usually worn by the privileged)

"Rich man dey talk, poor man say him get idea".(When the rich converges, the poor had better keep quiet!)

"Iya" (A native term used to address a woman with children and who is being addressed by her child's name)

"Ma lo ro pe omo pe iwo nikan loma lowo, ma lo rope no bi gbogbo wey go get this money"

(Don't think you are the only one that will make it.)